In her webinar on emotional and social development in the early years, Rachel Gregory explored how educators can better understand children’s needs by looking beneath the surface of their actions. Using the case study of a four-year-old child adjusting to a new school environment, she demonstrated how behaviour can provide valuable insights into social, emotional, and developmental needs. The webinar also explores how adults can helpfully tolerate, regulate and respond to behaviours that challenge us.
Understanding Social Development Through Play
Social development in early childhood is closely linked to how children interact, communicate, and build relationships. Play provides a central role in this process. Rachel Gregory explained that by the age of four or five, children are typically beginning to engage in cooperative play, sharing ideas and working together within a shared activity. Imaginative and creative play also help children make sense of social situations and learn important communication skills.
Play offers a window into a child’s development that can reveal potential areas of concern. Difficulties with social interaction, limited pretend play, challenges with turn-taking, or avoidance of peer relationships may signal that a child requires further support. However, Rachel Gregory emphasised the importance of remaining curious and considering the many factors that may influence a child’s behaviour, including cultural and language background, previous experiences, sensory sensitivities, and attachment relationships
The Iceberg Beneath Children’s Behaviour
One of the most powerful concepts discussed was the Iceberg Model of Behaviour. Much like an iceberg, only a small part of a child’s experience is visible on the surface. Behaviours such as crying, avoidance, withdrawal, or distress may be expressions of deeper feelings including anxiety, loneliness, fear, overwhelm, or uncertainty.
Rather than viewing behaviour as the problem itself, Rachel Gregory encouraged educators to see it as communication. Understanding the emotions driving behaviour can lead to more effective and compassionate support for children.
Why Co-Regulation Comes Before Self-Regulation
A key takeaway from the session was that self-regulation develops gradually and is built through co-regulation. Before children can manage their own emotions, they need calm, responsive adults who can help them understand and navigate strong feelings. Rachel Gregory stressed that children who are distressed or overwhelmed often lose the ability to think clearly, making supportive adult relationships essential.
Strategies such as using a calm voice, validating emotions, providing predictable routines, creating safe spaces, and building trusting relationships can all help children feel secure and regulated. Over time, these experiences support the development of emotional resilience and self-regulation skills.
Key Takeaway
The webinar offered a valuable reminder that emotional and social development in the early years is about more than managing behaviour. By observing closely, staying curious, and seeking to understand what lies beneath the surface, educators and parents can create environments where children feel safe, supported, and ready to thrive.
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